Failure

The Current…

Right now I’m recovering from a total dietary relapse in 2021–after losing 95lbs.

I’ve attempted a dozen times to get back onto the routine and continue my progress.

At the time, I had litterally 9lbs left before I would hit my target of 175lbs….but I got complacent.

Having the ability to control my weight–with routine or willpower–led me to abuse that power and think that I could binge on junk foods like ice cream, chocolate milk, fast food, caramels, cookies and in quantities which made me sick.

I would hate to say that I have a character flaw behind my weight gain; An Endocrinologist told me that my hormones were against me (specifically lower testosterone levels) and my lower back injury (Spondylolisthesis) makes it tough for me to exercise.

I did my best over the summer to get out of the house every day; After restoring 2 of my old bicycles, I started biking every day–something I haven’t done in almost 20 years. In addition, I started fishing again–which became an extreme obsession with me out fishing 3 times a week while talking about it incessantly. In retrospect, being on a boat 3 days a week wasn’t the best use of my time and physically made me feel horrible–especially my back.

Still, I made “high hook” so often that I developed a reputation for wiping the floor with over-complacent fishermen. There’s nothing like rediscovering an old passion.

Inspite of those efforts, I have not been the most responsible–offsetting my mental pain with binges on sensory goods.

The past 2 tries to get back on the diet were legit and failed in a few days;

This time, I’m in pain from the added 29lbs gained since almost hitting my target. Yesterday, I visited the doctor who more accurately weighed me in at 211lbs (deducting my clothes)–my BMI is above 31 again.

As of today, I’m back on the diet–full force–and I finished eating all 4 meals in 2.5hrs.

Here it goes again…I can do it.

-M

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